Secret Vows
by Alibear
Summary: Sybil and Branson secretly marry during the war.  Can their relationship survive the stresses of secrecy or will they be found out an have to face the wrath of Downton Abbey.
1. Chapter 1

Secret Vows

Pairing: Sybil and Branson

Plot: AU: Sybil and Branson marry secretly and decide to hide their union until the end of the war. How will they keep their secret?

Notes: I haven't seen all the season 2 episodes yet, so bear with some of the inconsistencies. I don't own any of the characters, but love them dearly. Please review. All comments are greatly appreciated.

She awoke with a start. Her surroundings were fuzzy and foreign to her sleep veiled consciousness. Nervousness, anxiety and anticipation were jumbled in her waking emotions, the remnants of a dream just slipping from her memory's grasp. As her breathing slowed, the world once again began to come into focus.

The bed shifted bedside her, sending her heart on another race. She cast a sideways glance and beholds the sleeping face of Tom Branson. Her husband, Tom Branson. How could she possibly have forgotten. She gave herself a little credit, as she had never been married before or woken to a man sleeping in her bed.

She smiled. His usually perfectly coiffed blond hair was mussed from sleep, while his eyelashes lay gently on his cheeks guarding those blue eyes that she so desperately loved. His mouth, which she had grown to appreciate, was relaxed and silent. He looked so peaceful, and she envied his seemingly blissful sleep.

She loved him, truly, deeply. More than she had ever thought possible. At first he had been a friendly employee. Then he had been a nice friend, one with whom she could openly discuss politics, and express her opinions without fear of reproach or mockery. He had encouraged her in her pursuits, when her family originally had not.

She had not immediately recognized the emotion slowly growing inside her. Or the reason that something a simple as a smile or a kind word from him had set her stomach to fluttering. She didn't analyze the multitude of reasons she had for taking rides for all manner of mundane tasks. Did she really need another comb for her hair?

But then the war had come, and everything changed. Her life, as she had been living it, sinfully frivolous while men were dying, seemed utterly lacking. She had felt restless in her skin, her hands itching to provide some kind of valuable service to the world. So when cousin Isobel had spoken of nursing, she had jumped in with both feet. In the split second after she had made up her mind to go for it, she had immediately thought of him. She had been almost pulled by an unknown force to rush off and tell him her amazing news. She instinctively knew that he would be happy for her.

When the time had come to leave for her training, she had felt nothing but excitement and anticipation, while the rest of the family had not entirely approved of her ambition. But Tom had. She had felt hopeful on her ride to the hospital that day. The yet untamed emotion surrounding her heart warmed her at the thought of an entire days ride with him.

Then before he left, standing in that cold stone archway, she had hurt him, deeply. He had shared his deepest feelings with her, and she had turned them away. However, that was the moment that that she truly began to realize what he meant to her. She had been so foolish. Yet, she couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth. Watching as every syllable brought him visible pain. She had never been more ashamed of herself. She had lived up to her upbringing. Automatically she had thought how her involvement with the chauffer would be wrong, regardless of what feelings she may or may not have for him.

As she watched his retreating form, she was able to begin breaking down her feelings for this man. A strange heaviness had settled in the vicinity of her heart. Their relationship would no longer be the same. She now realized that she did care for him, but how much? She was a novice in affairs of the heart, and couldn't trust that these feelings were the sort to last a lifetime.

As the war raged on, she had thrown herself into her training and work. Eventually she had been assigned to the hospital in Downton, which was comforting for her. She was able to remain with her family while fulfilling her desire to give back to others. And Tom was still there. She had long ago stopped thinking about him a Branson the chauffer. He was now just Tom.

He had stayed close to her once she returned. He cared for her now more than ever, endlessly trying to convince her that she was in love with him, pledging to stay at Downton until she would run away with him. She tried everything she could to fight the attraction, knowing that if she chose this path, her life would not be easy.

But none of it mattered she realized one day. She didn't need money to make her happy. She only needed him and to be allowed to be her own person. She had been so apprehensive as she had walked to the garage that night. Her life was about to change drastically. But she knew in her heart this was what she wanted. She had fallen in love with the chauffer, and couldn't imagine her life any other way.

The joy she felt as she told him the words he longed to hear was indescribable. To finally feel his arms encircle her, bringing her closer to him, was pure heaven. And when their lips finally touched she knew that she had found her home. Whatever lay ahead they could face together, whether it was the disapproval of her family or being ostracized by his.

Now here they were, at Gretna Green, man and wife. They currently existed in a blissful little bubble, but on the outside the war was still raging. While that had been the farthest thing from her mind at the start of the day, she knew that tomorrow would eventually come, and with it a return to reality and to Downton Abbey.


	2. Chapter 2

Secret Vows – Chapter 2

Notes: I don't own the characters, but I do love them Any comments are greatly appreciated.

She awoke to the morning sun cascading onto the bed, warming her beneath the blankets. With pointed toes and outstretched arms, she completed her morning ritual. A low chuckle rumbled next to her.

Sheepishly she turned her head to face him, feeling the blush rise to her cheeks as she met his eyes, thoughts of the previous night flooding her memory. This turned Tom's chuckle into an audible laugh, bringing out his brilliant smile and twinkling Irish eyes.

He reached for her then, pulling her close. She saw his face grow serious as they gazed at one another.

"You are so beautiful. I still can't quite believe it," he whispered, gently pushing her hair back behind her ear. "You could have had any man you wanted, but you chose me."

"I didn't want any other man. I didn't love any other man," she replied, placing a hand gently on his cheek.

"I only hope that I can be worthy of you, make you happy," he said.

"You already have," she said caressing his cheek. "I know that you are worried about money and trying to give me everything. Please don't. I don't need any of that. I know life at times will likely be difficult, but we can face that together. We can conquer anything together."

A small smile spread across his face as he answered, "I think you are right."

Now it was her time to become serious.

"Tom, yesterday was the best day of my life. I am over joyed to be your wife. I wish that we could shout it from the roof tops."

"We can you know. We don't have to keep it a secret," he responded softly. They had had this conversation so many times leading up to yesterday.

"I know, but with the war, and Downton being used for convalescence, I don't see that this is the right time. Everyone is under enough stress, and I am afraid that it will make it less likely for them to accept us. I know that in the beginning they aren't going to approve. My father will likely disown me. Although, I want to try to avoid any of that. I don't want to be without my family forever."

"I know my love," Tom replied soothingly. "But I don't see any way to avoid the unpleasantness. We snuck off to get married without telling anyone. They will not be happy even less so when they find out who you married. I think that will be the biggest obstacle. We are from two very different worlds."

"I know, but you know I don't prescribe to all that nonsense. I just don't want to tear the family apart. I don't want them to hate me forever," she said.

"I wouldn't worry about them hating you forever. If there is one thing I have come to learn about your family in these last years, it's that the Crawley's are a rare gem among the aristocracy. They are a very loving family who care deeply about one another, even if they don't always show it. It even extends to the servants. We all feel like a part of the family to a certain extent."

This made her smile. She knew he was right. Her father would likely be very angry and perhaps not speak to her for a time, but knowing who they were deep down, she knew that he wouldn't be mad at her forever.

"You know, we are going to have to be going soon," she pouted while considering the height of the sun in the sky. It would likely be midday soon, and they really needed to make their way back to Downton.

Letting out a loud sigh he rolled onto his back. "I know. Back to reality. It's going to be torture to not come home to you or sleep next to you every night."

"I know darling, but we'll make it work. I promise," she said giving him a deep kiss. Then, breaking away , she summoned the most provocative come hither look she could muster. Placing a finger to his lips and said, "And besides, we don't have to leave just yet Mr. Branson."

Grabbing her fingers, with a Cheshire cat smile spreading across his face, he returned, "No we don't do we, Mrs. Branson."

Without warning he pounced on her, pinning her back to the bed. Her happy surprise transformed to wanton abandon as he began to kiss his way to the hollow of her neck. She let out a contented sigh. The worries and trials ahead of them forgotten for the moment.


	3. Chapter 3

Secret Vows – Chapter 3

AN: Here is the next installment. Not sure what I feel about this chapter. I was trying to wrap up some of the background and the underlying feelings to set things up. Not sure if it worked as I had hoped. Hope that you enjoy! All comments are greatly appreciated.

The drive back to Downton was anything but the happy go lucky ride it should have been. Instead of a giggly bride and proud bridegroom, they were a serious couple. Much of ride had been spent in silence, both watching the scenery go by, looking straight past it, lost in their own worlds of thought. Thoughts of how life would unfold under the weight of this heavy secret.

Under normal circumstances the newly married couple would be returning to a waiting happy family, ready to embrace them in love and affection. Showering them with well wishes and illuminating the path to a happy marriage. That, however, was not to be for her and Tom, at least not yet.

They would be returning as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. They had left under the guise of her having to visit one of her far off charities, requiring an overnight stay. How she hated deception, but she saw no other way to achieve her heart's desire. Her family, at this time anyway, would never approve of the marriage, and would have done everything in their significant power to prevent it. But this way, for lack of a better euphemism, the damage was already done. They would either have to accept her, and him, or reject both of them.

Every mile brought with it fresh anxiety for her, a growing restlessness for unpleasant situations to come. He would drop her at the front door and then continue back to the garage as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred yesterday. They would spend their day separately, dine separately, and with aching hearts retire to bed separately. The pattern would not be different for the foreseeable future. She supposed everyday wouldn't be like that, and they would be able to carve out sometime in their schedules to be together.

Finally she had taken a deep breath and dove into the discussion she knew they must have. It had not been particularly pleasant for either of them. They had agreed that they would see one another every morning when he picked her up to bring her to her nursing duties at the hospital, and then again on the way home. Those were the only guaranteed times together, and even then it was him driving and her sitting in the back seat. No real interaction, the only physical contact being the touch of their gloved hands as he helps her from the car. Not exactly how they wanted to spend time together, but it would have to do for the time being. Then, whenever they could they would arrange to meet somewhere so that they could be together, with no societal roles between them, when they could just be husband and wife. Unfortunately Sybil saw that likely only happening once or maybe if they were very lucky, twice a week.

It would have to do for now. All reports indicated that the war would likely be ending within the next six months. She prayed that was true. It would take all their strength or hers anyway, to continue the secrecy for any significant amount of time. All that she wanted was to be with him, and not have to hide it. She didn't regret her decision to marry him at all, although she wondered if perhaps she had been too naïve to think that everything would work out in the end. Rose colored glasses could be deceiving.

Gravel crunched beneath the tires as they made their way up the drive to Downton. Usually such a sound brought her comfort, knowing that soon she would be home, but not this day. Instead it signaled the end of her perfect elopement with the man she loved and the return to a life of fantasy playing the part of the young daughter of the house.

She had hoped that she and Tom could at least exchange a few words when he dropped her at the front door, however, that was not to be. As they pulled up, the ever reliable Mr. Carson stepped into the sunlight to greet her. Sybil had to stifle a groan. She loved the old man, but really did he have to be so proper and punctual!

Tom exited the car and being the ever dutiful chauffer, opened her door and offered his hand to assist her in alighting from the car. Her fingers curled about his and she felt her body react to the spark of attraction that always raced through her when they touched. The warmth of his hand reminded her of their night together and a slight blush stained her cheeks.

She raised her eyes to meet his, and could see that he was currently suffering a similar effect from the contact. A slight blush ringed his collar and crept up his neck. They both smiled as their eyes met. With his back to Carson, he mouthed the words "I love you". She could only nod and try to convey her response with her love for him shining in her eyes.

"Lady Sybil," he said.

"Branson," she returned and then, "thank you."

Their hands stayed joined for a moment longer than was likely polite for a chuffer and his employer, but they couldn't risk more with Carson's ever watchful gaze directed at them.

"Welcome home Lady Sybil," Carson intoned.

"Thank you Carson, it is good to be back," she answered, though the tight smile on her face belied the feelings resting just beneath the surface.

Tom returned the car to the garage after handing off Sybil's luggage to the footman. He hated leaving her at the front door without so much as a kiss goodbye, but knew that under the circumstances any outward signs of affection were forbidden.

He really didn't know where he was going to find the strength to do this. This woman was now his wife and he wanted to be with her, experiencing life together, not watching her from the servant's vantage point, on the fringes. He knew that there might be times, no, that there would definitely be times when the family invited guests, male guests, to the house for the sole purpose of trying to marry off Sybil. How would he let her out of his sight? How could he watch other men, wealthy and powerful men, try to court her? It was bad enough watching her with the soldiers and the way they flirted with her. He had more than once had to check his actions to prevent himself from doing more bodily harm to a few of the soldiers that thought they could take liberties with her.

Whatever problems that may be facing them, he knew one thing, he would not have changed a thing. He was married to the woman he adored. To think, only a few years ago he had felt like a wandering soul, with no attachment and little purpose, other than his political beliefs and aspirations. But those things now seemed hollow compared to what he had found. Home. He had found home. Not so much a place, but a person, Sybil. His heart had found its home. No matter what storms might lie ahead of them, they could be weathered because they would be together, always.


	4. Chapter 4

Secret Vows – Chapter 4

AN: I don't own the characters, just borrowing them for a bit. All comments and criticisms greatly appreciated.

2 months later

The war continued to rage on with no apparent end in sight. A seemingly endless number of scarred and broken soldiers made their way to the hospital every day. Some so marred they were likely beyond recognition to their own mothers. Sybil often wondered what kind of a God, the one she prayed to every Sunday, would leave a human being in such a condition. What sort of hell on earth were these men now cast into for the remainder of their lives. Many were permanently disabled, lost limbs, blindness, deafness, and paralysis were only a handful of the atrocities seen in the hospital every day. Then even if their physical ailments hadn't destroyed them, it seemed as though their minds would.

Sybil could not even being to imagine the atrocities that these poor men had encountered at the front. The word men was a euphemism. Some of her patients were no more than boys, younger than herself. They should have been at school, riding and hunting and courting beautiful young ladies. Instead they now spent their days in these beds. Some never spoke at all, while other told stories of events that no person should have ever had to encounter.

The night shift tended to be the worst, and she dreaded it every time she was assigned to it. The fall of darkness and the call of sleep brought forth the demons from within these soldiers heads. Some nights there was so much screaming and moaning, that she sometimes wondered if this what the battlefield had sounded like after the quiet of the bombs and bullets. She had lost count of the number of men she had sat with and held while they cried after being awakened from their tormented sleep. It tortured her soul to watch.

Then there were those who wouldn't, or couldn't sleep. Often times they paced the floors, furiously puffing on cigarettes, which were never quite able to calm their tattered nerves. Their tired, haggard faces spoke of the horrors that they had been forced to endure or commit in the name of their country.

Lights and lamps burned constantly through the night. Just as sleep terrified some, darkness haunted the others. Long months living in cold, dark, rodent infested fox holes had robbed these soldiers of the simple ability to sleep in the dark. Something that all adults, past the age of 10, take for granted. To be cast back to a childhood terror as an adult, knowing that there was no rational reason why the paralyzing fear would grip a grown man at the mere thought of being in a darkened room.

It had become apparent to many that the men needed a place to convalesce after the majority of their injuries had been repaired. Downton Abbey was the obvious choice, with its numerous bedrooms and common rooms that could accommodate a large numbers of soldiers. While the family of the house knew that this was the right, honorable thing to do, that didn't make it any easier to accept the masses of people over taking their home.

The new arrangements created a significant amount of friction between Isobel and the family, or more specifically Cora. Isobel had fancied herself the manager of the convalescent house due to her previous nursing experience. She had marched into the household and tried to take over the everyday running, paying no mind to the family that currently lived there. However, it was going to be a cold day in hell before Cora would let it continue. She staged a bit of a coup, figuratively wrestling back power under Isobel's nose. As a result Isobel had felt slighted and un-needed, and left for France where she felt her skills and knowledge would be appreciated.

Sybil was currently splitting her time between the hospital and Downton. She worked long, hard hours, which left very little time for her husband or herself. The marriage had not yet been discovered, but she wondered if it could even really be called a marriage. They rarely saw one another, and when they did it was as employee and employer. They had only been able to steal away together a handful of times, and even then it hadn't been for long.

So many nights she longed to lay in his arms, drinking in the comfort they offered. She wasn't sure how much longer she was going to be able to do this. She wanted to be with her husband. To live with, eat with and sleep with him on a daily basis. It was becoming unbearable to see him at various times throughout the day, but to always having to keep herself at arms length from him.

It was this desperate loneliness that drove her to become reckless. She chanced visiting him at the garage. It was late and the family had mostly retired for the evening. She knew he would still be up, as he would be returning from driving her Granny back to the Dowager house. He was just closing and locking the doors when she saw him.

He looked tired. Though she only saw his back, his shoulders were rounded and his posture appeared weary. She knew exactly how he felt.

"Long day?" she called out.

He startled slightly, and turned quickly to face her. "What are you doing here, is everything alright?" the smile on his face contrasting with the obvious worry in his voice.

She could no longer control herself. Tears sprung to her eyes and she launched herself into his arms. He stumbled back slightly, gladly accepting the force of her weight. His arms wrapped tight around her, wanting to draw her into him as close as two people could humanly be. The hug was fierce on both sides.

Their arms were in constant motion, grasping, tightening and holding on for dear life. Her head lay against his chest, the cold, polished buttons pressing into her neck and face, yet she didn't register the discomfort of the raised surface of the buttons imprinting on her skin. This was right; this was where she belonged, within the protective cocoon his embrace offered. The tears fell then. Not small dainty tears accompanied by quiet sniffling, but great droplets accompanied by desperate sobs. The green of his uniform became darker beneath her face, the torrents soaking through the material, wetting the skin beneath.

His hand moved to cradle her head against him. Placing a kiss in her hair , he murmured soothing nothing words, hoping that they helped to calm her, even though inside he felt the same way. The loneliness had built up inside him too. If she hadn't come to him this night, he was sure he would have gone to her and risked everything.

Tom felt her start to calm. The tears and sobs had stopped, replaced by hiccups and sniffling. He leaned back slightly, bringing his hands to either side of her face. Gazing into her eyes, he slowly lowered his head to hers, touching her lips gently. What started innocently quickly became passionate.

She was voracious, wanting to consume him. They took each other in, as much as their situation would allow. Their mouths slanted over one another over and over and over. This is what she had been waiting for. This was what she had longed for and dreamt of all those lonely nights.

He tore his lips from hers and traced a scorching line down her chin to the hollow of her throat. It was then that the cool night air invaded their cocoon, and pulled her from the passionate haze. Her cloudy mind realized they were out in the open for anyone to see. So, with herculean effort she stepped out of his arms. The rush of cool air nearly took her breath away. She craved his warmth.

They stood staring at one another, their heavy exhales mixing in the space between them. He knew she was right. This certainly wasn't the place for them to lose control, to risk being seen, but he wanted her so much. So much. She was like a drug to him. Now that he had had a another small taste, he would certainly crave her.

She knew everything he was feeling. Taking his face into her hand and whispered, "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Closing his eyes he returned quietly, "I know. And I love you. More than you could ever know."

"It won't be forever Tom. We'll find a way to be together more often. I won't be without you anymore."

He lowered his forehead to hers, and looking into her eyes," We will be together. Soon," he vowed.

Rising on tip toes once more she kissed him one last time, turned and hurried away. He watched her retreating form until she was no more than a silhouette against the looming great house. With a sigh he turned and made his way, alone once again, to his cottage.

Silently Sybil slipped back into the house. She made her way up the stairs and to her room, unaware of the maliciously watchful eyes that were trained on her back.


End file.
